美国的乡下和小镇上,每家每户都有个院子,喜好自由发声的美国人时常会插一个有文字的牌子在院子里,引起来来往往的车辆的注意。有的牌子关于政治,有的牌子关于信仰,有的关于环保,有的就是纯广告……开车回家的路上,我看到一块牌子写着:“永远选择恩慈”。我心底叹了口气,因为我知道它的出处,所以不同意。

Driving home one day and I saw a yard sign that said, “Always choose kind!” I sighed in my heart because I knew what it was referring to and I don’t agree.

“永远选择恩慈” 这句话出自韦恩•戴尔,美国畅销励志书籍作者,一个教导新纪元信仰的老师。他信仰每个人的身体里有一种能量,这种能量让人变成神。他的原话是:“当只能选择正确和恩慈时,选择恩慈。” 戴尔已经去世,但他这句话在社交平台的传播下,已成为名句。就连好莱坞也用这句话来作为电影的点睛之笔。

The yard sign was quoting Wayne Dyer, a New Age teacher who believed everyone has a “source” in their body that can make them a god[1]. He said, “when given the choice between being right and being kind—you’ll always choose to be kind.”[2] Dyer has passed away, but social media definitely made his saying popular. Even Hollywood used this line to make their movies sound profound.

截图来自电影《奇迹男孩》Screen capture from the movie Wonder

我理解有人会选择恩慈,因为他们把“选择正确”定义为“我的观点是对的”,再贴上自大、自尊心强、固执己见的标签。如果选择正确,只关乎人的自尊心,行,请选择恩慈。如果选择正确,只关乎人的个人观点或喜好,例如豆腐花该吃咸的还是甜的,行,请选择恩慈。

The reason people choose kind over right is that they define “being right” as “my personal opinion is right”. They associate being right with being proud and having a big ego. If we are talking about our ego, sure, choose to be kind. If it is just personal opinion or preference, such as if we should put pineapples on pizzas, sure, being kind, and order two pizzas accordingly for both sides.

选择恩慈没毛病,但以牺牲正确或真理为前提,是在暗示“选择恩慈,做错事也没关系。” 戴尔信能让人成为神的能量,总是有爱而不会审判罪恶。若无审判,做坏事不会有坏结果,在这种信仰系统下,牺牲正确或真理也就顺理成章。

There’s nothing wrong with choosing kind, but if it compromises truth, then it means to “Choose kind and do wrong”. Dyer believed the “source” that makes you a god is always loving and has no judgment[3]. Based on this no judgment belief system, doing wrong has no bad consequence. So compromising truth becomes reasonable.

当选择正确不关乎人的自尊或喜好,而是真理和公义,具体牵涉到神定义的真理和公义;那我不会赞成戴尔,不会与好莱坞和社交平台为伍。因为我所事奉的不是一股”能量”,而是圣经所说“同时”并且“总是”恩慈和正确的神。并且,圣经里的神是会审判罪恶的。不管在什么样的情况下,在神的眼里,都没有借口做坏事;换用圣经的说法,就是没有借口“犯罪”。

When it’s not about human’s ego or personal preference, but the truth, specifically God’s truth and righteousness, I disagree with Dyer, Hollywood, social media… Because I don’t serve a “source” but the God in the Bible who is kind and right at the same time and all the time. The God in the Bible judges. No matter the circumstance, there’s no excuse in God’s eye for doing wrong, or speaking biblically, sin.

恩慈和正确都是神的神性特征。神不能选择只具备其中一个特征,因为当祂选择一个,就否定了另一个;神不能否定祂自己。神性说明,真的恩慈和真的正确不会相互抵触。         

Kindness and righteousness both are God’s character. God can not choose one of them. Because when he chooses one, he denies another part of himself. God can not deny himself. His godliness shows that true kindness and true righteousness can’t be separate.

那种以撒谎和纵容为表达方式的恩慈不是真的恩慈。道德上和智慧上,都不会对人有益处,换用圣经的说法,就是不造就人。戴尔说选择恩慈就是回复对方“你是对的”。如果对方真是对的,这个回复没毛病;但如果是错的呢?我们永不纠正错误?

The type of kindness that lies and ignores wrong is not true kindness. It doesn’t improve us morally or intellectually, or speaking biblically, it doesn’t edify. Dyer said that choosing kind by simply saying “You are right about that”[2]. This works when your listener is right, but what if he is wrong? Should we never correct the wrong?

希望别人正确,是对那人的恩慈和爱。这就是为什么父母会谆谆教导孩子是与非,而不是对孩子的恶行“恩慈”和缄默。

Wanting someone to be right is kind and loving to that person. That’s why parents will teach their children right from wrong, instead of being silent or letting them continue in their wrong behaviors.

是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈;爱是不嫉妒;爱是不自夸,不自高,不作羞耻的事,不求自己的益处,不轻易发怒,不思想邪恶,不喜欢不义,只喜欢真理。”–歌林多前书13章4-6节

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; …rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”–1 Corinthians 13:4-6

圣经定义爱和恩慈是“只喜欢真理”,爱、恩赐和真理是一块儿的。戴尔的命题是个假命题,他不应该把恩慈和真理搞成对立面。当基督为我们的罪钉死在十字架上的时候,祂是恩慈的,因为他甘愿做了我们的替罪羊顶下了死亡。同时,祂又彰显了正义,让罪得到惩罚而不是姑息。祂把非纠正,是因为祂是个怜悯和恩慈的神。

The Bible says charity and kindness enjoy truth. Charity, kindness, and truth are bound together. Dyer’s question is a wrong proposition because kindness and righteousness are not against each other. When Christ died on the cross for our sins, it was kind of him to take away our punishment. Meanwhile, it showed God’s justice for sins which is a right thing that sin was not ignored. How kind God was to make things right!

亲爱的韦恩,当你选择神的真理和公义时,你就是在选择恩慈。

Dear Wayne, when you choose God’s righteousness, you ARE choosing kindness.

[1] The 1st paragraph in Dyer’s press “You Are God“. [2] The 3rd paragraph in Dyer’s blog “Letting Go“. [3] The 6th paragraph in Dyer’s interview press “Interview With New Age Retailer“.

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